Love Note to Myself : About my Business

I love my Perfectly Posh business because it gives me the flexibility to be with my kids and still help pay bills. I love when I get to help other people take a few minutes for themselves. I love helping others by sharing my business and the opportunity with them. I love knowing that this may be the answer to someone else’s problems. I love seeing people pamper themselves.

My favorite memory while I have been in business has been meeting Ann Dalton and having the opportunity to hear her speak twice now. I have met other top leaders that have inspired me to reach for my dreams. Having my husband with me the second time I met Ann and letting her motivate us both was an amazing experience.

I promise to never forget that my perspective is what makes me unique and because of that my Posh family needs me. My way of organizing and thinking is what makes me different from others and that is what makes me special. I do not need to be like anyone else. My journey is my journey!! I will get to the top of my mountain my way!!!IMG_5391

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Parenting Teens: Sometimes you have to yell

I am blessed to have 4 children and 3 stepchildren. Right now, the majority are teenagers or preteens that are already the size of adults so for intents and purposes they are teenagers. When being the vertically challenged one in the equation I have adapted to becoming the loudest at times. I will be the loudest parent in the neighborhood and I don’t have any shame in that. I also had my own children when I was fairly young; in my early twenties. This makes a huge difference in how I was raised and how I raise my bunch.

Let us begin with the fact that the oldest is now 18!! I am his stepmom and I make sure to not interfere in the discipline or day to day stuff. I have a good relationship with him and I will admit it, I do the back seat parenting. I will give my opinion where only my husband gets my thoughts. This is not recommended…this leads to headaches and stress. But I loooove to solve problems and so I will try to solve every problem even when not asked. He is finishing his high school career and begins the college experience in the fall. Time will tell how my parenting strategy changes on this next journey with him.

The next one in chronological order is my daughter. She has been my partner in crime from day one. (We have never committed a crime) I have been known to spoil her in letting her get away with attitude and sass that others don’t tolerate at all. She is her mother’s daughter and is way smarter than me. I have warned her that if she pulls any of the nonsense I pulled in high school she will be grounded until she is 95 years old. She is an amazing photography and media arts student as well as an honor student for all academic classes. She is taking two college classes as part of her academic program next school year. On top of this she is also a free spirit and fighter for equal rights. She came out as a lesbian before her freshman year of high school and has not had any negative issues. Once again, I am fairly lenient, hoping that by being laid back she will continue to do extremely well in school and keep her room clean.

Then her brother was born a year after her and he is the one that if there was ever a kid to be just like me…he is it. He is a runner and hates school work. Ok, I don’t think he hates school work, he would rather just do other stuff as long as the other stuff isn’t chores. He has the language of sarcasm and inappropriate jokes down to his preferred language. He is also very sensitive at times and hates to be yelled at. He knows when he has a bad race or bad workout even before the coaches tell him. He aims to have better and better times each time he runs. However, this kid will put in the bare minimum on all household responsibilities and all schoolwork; to the point of making me lose my mind and scream.

The next three kids are the barely teenagers. We have one that is now taller than his brother (the 18 year old) and father and the twins that are growing like weeds as well. All three will probably be the tallest in the family at rate they are growing. You will find these three with either their phone or a book in their hands and they will not hear you calling their name for at least five minutes. They are the quieter ones of the bunch. They are not all middle children but all seem to have taken the role.

Here is the hard part…These kids have multiple parents. There are at least two women in these kids lives trying to love them and give them the softness that they need. Yes, softness because this world is rough and with all the crazy going on being a mom is a mix of tough and soft. And then three of the children have their dad as their male figure. He is the tough and also the friend because of the scheduling paradigms he’s been dealt with the past eight years. My four have their dad and my husband in their lives. They know that it means that they can’t get away with anything; Except…..

Yup, there’s an except. Their dad is at times more their best friend and gift giver than the guy that backs me up when I need it. I have finally come to terms with it. After years of begging for support when a kid doesn’t want to do their homework and leaving me to always be the bad guy, I have decided to embrace it. I am good at invoke the fear of living in my basement with the cement walls and spiders if we fail to finish school properly. I am good at having my husband offer to change the wi-fi password so no one can watch hours of You-Tube and Netflix. Their dad and I were raised differently and there is a significant age gap between us. He is much more laid back (even as the active duty service member) to my more ridge this is how it must be done way of thinking.

It creates a balance of sorts except when it doesn’t. Teenagers need to have the structure. At least some sort of structure. Mine have even said they like knowing there are rules and chores and expectations as it makes it easier to know what they need to do. It helps to set the precedent for when they are adults and living on their own. Do I like yelling at them to do their chores or losing my mind because I had to spend all day cleaning up after everyone? No but does it get them all back on track and remembering that this is a family and not a frat house….Yes.

Why I POSH…

Direct Sales is an interesting concept. If you’ve only been a consumer you may only know the amazing products you see at fairs, fundraisers, shows. You may know the Pink Car, or the pyramid model, or the claims of products from the past. You may remember the controversy of past companies and concepts. But I’m going to tell you what its like from the inside. And here is my caveat…Perfectly Posh is not the first company I have taken the leap with. But Posh is where my heart and passion have never been stronger.

Direct Sales is network marketing which is truly a concept of building relationships and sharing oneself and the products of the company for which they are a part of. For me, that company is Perfectly Posh. I was introduced to Posh through a friend’s Facebook party and was sent some samples of a face wash and moisturizer. I had been looking for a new skincare set since being diagnosed with Celiacs Disease and having reactions to many face products on the market including top of the line (think $$$ lines). I tried the sample of BFF (Best Face Forever) and fell in love with how it felt. And the kicker; No reaction!! There were no gluten fillers in the products! It took a little longer before I was ready to jump into owning my own Posh business. Remember, I mentioned that this wasn’t my first company.

I won’t name the other companies. I had been with three other companies as an Independent Consultant and knew that it was going to take a serious commitment and that this was not going to be a hobby for me. If I was going to purchase a kit then I was buying my business and a future for myself and my family. Two of those three companies are still going today; and are incredible. I will say that one of them in particular taught me more about myself than any other job I have held. That past experience gave me the inner strength to explain to my husband why I wanted to become a Perfectly Posh Consultant. Now, my husband is pretty chill…do not tell him I said that though…lol. He said, “here is my debit card information and Good Luck”. Ok, he said a few other things and asked a few questions, like how was I going to balance the business, work (I was working full-time with a part-time job on top of it), during lacrosse season, and with seven kids activities. I don’t remember my answers but I am sure that they were Sassy and Classy…hahaha.

It began as a way for me to bring in a little extra money to pay for new clothes, shoes, whatever I wanted to spend money on without having to feel bad about taking it from household necessities. I had my surgery in June followed by an emergency surgery in July. I was not going to be able to return to my job at the start of the school year. So I decided my job was going to be my business. This is not an easy transition nor is it to be taken with a grain of salt. It meant a lot in my business had to change and I had to really make some adaptations. And to this day I still need to continue to grow and adapt. I have to remember that I am a business owner and my store front is open 24/7. This means even when I am tired, ill, on vacation, or just plain grumpy I need to make that effort.

The transition has had it’s turns in the road. I have had my team grow and we’ve had amazing and fabulous months of success. We have also had months we plateaued and focused on our personal selves and families. That is truly the beauty of this sort of business. You can fit it into your life. I can work from the lacrosse field, the grocery store, the couch, my bed. I can share the amazing products made from sustainable resources, made in the USA with people I meet at the grocery store, at the lacrosse field, at track meets. I am able to share the fun of pampering through social media on my Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook accounts. I get to participate in Girls Night Out events, Wedding Shows, and vendor fairs.

One of my favorite parts of this business is definitely getting to be paid to Pamper myself. If I am going to buy all these amazing products it only makes sense that I earn the commission for it, right? And when I found out how much training is provided for FREE by home office and my upline I was floored. Training is more than just how to sell a product and get people on your team. It has included training on time management, organization, branding, social media, and so much more.

On top of that is the relationships I have built since I began this journey. If someone had told me 12 months ago that I would have about 100 new friends and some of them are as close as sisters, I would have been shocked. As loud and boisterous as I can be, I am pretty shy and don’t make friends easily. I tend to stick close to my little tribe and can be intimidated by others. I have found a new tribe of friends that help make me become a better person each day. I can reach out for help or just for a laugh and there is someone there to support me and giggle with me. My customers are some of the most cherished people in my life. I get to Pamper family members on a regular basis! I get to Pamper loved ones from coast to coast…I have a customer in Alaska!! My team members, the Lil’ Sharky’s are an eclectic bunch. We are a co-ed team…Heck YEAH!!! And we currently stretch from Massachusetts and Connecticut to Pennsylvania and Michigan and down to Florida! I love to spoil my team members and send them happy mail every month. We are working towards our goals and love being able to work our businesses and support each other.

This business is more than hand cremes and chunk soaps. It is more than just paying for groceries for my family. It is something that fills my heart and soul. Learning how the You Deserve It Foundation helps to support working mothers in Guatemala and seeing Incentive Trip Earners build bikes for orphans in the Dominican Republic shows me that this company is more than just profits and bottom-lines. It is a company where the CEO has hugged my husband and I and told us genuinely, she is happy to have met us and is proud of us. The leaders are honest and sincere and will not hide behind their desks…they are working their businesses and trying all the new products right alongside of you. I Posh everyday not just for myself, not just for my team, not just for my family but for all of it.

Epic To Do List

I am a maker of lists. It can help me feel more focused and allows me to feel as though I am actually getting things done. The shorter the list the easier it is to feel accomplished. But there are those times when the list is as long as the day. Today though I made an EPIC list. That’s right, red ink on legal length paper! I have an extremely busy schedule the next 3 weeks and I need to make sure stuff is in order to keep things running smoothly. On top of my crazy schedule is the kids schedule; Hello Track and Lacrosse Season!! And then there is my husband’s schedule, which even though he works partially from home, I am constantly forgetting where he is and where he is going.

So why are lists so powerful? Are lists for everyone? What do you put on a list?

Lists are a great way to stay organized. If you are going on a trip you may make a packing list so you pack your toothbrush, bathing suit and flip flops along with your passport. Around the holidays, the inevitable shopping list for just the right gifts for your loved ones is super helpful and may keep you from overbuying or duplicating gifts. (I said it may help…trust me…it takes more than a list for me to not overbuy for my kids or husband). Daily to do lists are perfect for getting just the right tasks done for the day without stressing out or exhausting yourself. And don’t forget the amazing Grocery list. This bad boy will help keep you from buying all the stuff you don’t need at the store; joking; you will still buy Cosmopolitan magazine (for the quizzes and the fashion you’re never going to wear) and the bottled water because the 5 minutes home are going to be soooo thirst quenchingly long.

My husband is not a list person per say. He can keep track of stuff in his head really easily and will make notes for work stuff but not necessarily lists. He will acknowledge my lists and sometimes sigh when he sees me writing one. He understands my need for them though. I have friends that also swear by lists… have kids…have lists. Its a necessity like wine and coffee. We make lists of books we are going to read together and things we want to do on our Girl’s days/nights. Plenty of my fellow mom-bosses are list makers- its how they rock their team numbers and stay on top of everything each month. Its also how they know what to pack for their trips.

The Epic list has chores and tasks that need to be completed by the end of the month. Some absolutely need to be done by the end of today or “momma may lose her mind”! The chores are some that have been assigned to kids but seem to be neglected or forgotten and at this point if I don’t see it done I am going to be the proud owner of many cell phones and devices. I also included tasks that I don’t have the time to fit in or keep forgetting about that will only take a minute or two such as calling in the refill for the dogs’ medications. The list also has some very big work goals on there. This way while the kids are doing their work they can see mom is working on her stuff. There is a bit of spring cleaning tasks and some odds and ends on the list. And yes, writing out the grocery list is on the list…it takes everyone to make sure we don’t forget anything like shampoo, milk (two kinds in this house and I don’t drink either), deodorant (6 bodies= 6 different ones).

A list can be for any purpose you need to help clarify your thinking. It may help you stay on task or keep you on a budget. It gives me a sense of accomplishment being able to cross things off and know things are getting done. And this Three Page EPIC List…well, its going to all get done. It may bring some tears and some yelling but at least the bulk trash is going to finally get out of my house and I am going to have an amazing end of month.

Can You Actually Have Kids, Pets, a Spouse and a Clean House?

So do you wonder what the hype is about having a clean house or do you actually miss having a clean house? Can you actually see you floors, walk without stepping on Legos, and not live out in a tent in the yard while your family overtakes the house? Like is this some sort of fairy tale???  No it isn’t a Fairy Tale!! Yes, I promise it can actually happen!!! And no it doesn’t force you to live in a tent or get rid of everything either.

It is really important for me to have a clean house…like I can’t function if there is a mess. How I survived the toddler years still amazes me…and now that I am in the smelly teenage years it takes some work at times to go with the flow. So how do I maintain a clean house, with 7 children, 2 dogs, 1 cat, 2 adults that work mostly from home, sports gear, friends, and just everyday life? I have a few systems in place that I have been using for years.

Step One: Take a deep breath and pick a room to start in. Yes, you are going to throw away some stuff and donate some stuff and put stuff in the rooms it actually belongs in. I tell people to start with the bathroom (s) and the linen closet as these can go really quick and when you feel successful you are more apt to continue. Also bathrooms have lots of germs and we like them to be clean. Have two trash bags: 1 for true garbage/trash and 1 for donating to goodwill/charity. Throw out empty bottles/containers/things that are broken/unusable. Donate any towels/linens/items you just don’t love or use. Do you really need 6 towels per person in your home??  Do you have stained towels that maybe the animal shelter could use? Then once everything is sorted out and refolded, put onto the shelves in a manner that makes sense for you- maybe you want hand towels and face clothes together and pillow cases and sheets together- maybe you want the sheets above the towels…it has to work for you. Then you go through the expired stuff and the stuff you’ve gotten and toss what you don’t use; like; or is expired. Most police stations have a drop off box for medications so you can bag it separately and drop it off. Then you wipe down the room and go to the next.

What’s great about this method is you can do it all in a few days or in a few weeks. It is your own pace. It works great for getting rid of toys and clothing that kids have outgrown but still have cluttering their rooms. A great way to include the kids that I have used is near their birthdays and again near Christmas I had them go through their toys and stuffed animals (legit it would look like a zoo in their rooms) and donate anything they no longer played with or liked for us to give to kids that were less fortunate. It would work like a charm and then there would be room for the new stuff they would be receiving.

Step Two: The basket method is a surefire way to keep everyone’s stuff picked up in common areas. The way it works is that there is a basket/bin and all the clutter that doesn’t belong gets put into the basket at the end of the day. When the basket is full you take it room by room and empty it out putting things where they belong. Another technique is to have a bin for each child/person in the home and then that person is responsible for taking care of their bin.

Step Three: Do a Chore Chart. It is never too early or too late to get the kids or family involved. It helps build a sense of responsibility and respect for the home and the family as a whole. You cannot do it all yourself…trust me…you’ll get tired and become resentful. (I know firsthand). Even little ones, three and four years old can help out and be responsible for cleaning up their toys and dirty clothes. A big thing for me is beds made everyday, I like the perception of a clean room and a neat looking bed is a key piece for me. Older ones can do dishes, trash, help with food prep, and yard work. Whatever your needs are and what your children’s capabilities are is going to be what works best for your situation. And know that it will take time for everyone to adjust to the routine.

Step Four: Get Your Spouse on Board. Not just to help you out but also on board with the children’s responsibilities. If you decide to go with the basket method for your living room make sure they know that its the plan for the time being. If you want the beds made every morning, make sure if they are the last one up that they know the expectation is that they make the bed. When it is a team effort, then the housework doesn’t seem like the burden it can sometimes become. And no, it doesn’t mean that they won’t ask what needs to be done… in my experience it is easier for them to ask what needs to be done then to do something not your way. Share the housework with your spouse…just because they may earn more than you doesn’t mean you have to scrub the toilets every single week. Or maybe they actually like going to the grocery store and you hate it with a passion. The key here is to communicate. Plan an evening where you and your spouse can sit down and talk about household responsibilities and actually discuss it. I know it isn’t the most romantic night you’re going to have but have some wine and know that it will mean less stress and a cleaner home for you.

Step Five: Sometimes you just have to kick everyone out of the house, blast some music, make a mixed cocktail and scrub the dirt. Its just about time for spring cleaning. You have clothes that you are never going to wear again; broken toys in the kids rooms; books gathering dust; kitchen junk that you got for your wedding twelve years ago from your Great Aunt Bitsy still in the box in the back of a cabinet. It is time to gut it out and give yourself a clean start to the season. Send the kids away on an overnight to your in-laws; send your husband out with his friends (or make him help) and just go for it. The kids won’t notice that you threw out the teddy bear missing an arm that was under the bed covered in dust bunnies. The husband won’t notice that you threw away the sweatshirt his ex-girlfriend from high school got him. And the knick- knack from Aunt Bitsy isn’t doing any good in the back of a cupboard behind some kitchen gadget your not using. And those size zero daisy duke shorts you have….they’ll make a really good dust rag while you finish cleaning the house.

 

 

 

What is Lookin’ Posh in Mascara and Hoodies?

Welcome again…I feel like I reinvent myself but truly we all evolve and so here I am showing the latest and greatest version of me to all of you.

Lookin’ Posh is going to be a place where you’ll see the struggles and triumphs of being a wife, mom, entrepreneur, woman, and friend in the world today. Is it always glamorous? Is it always messy? Is it easy or hard? I’ll share about lots of topics and will do my best to stay on trend or create a trend or two. I want you to laugh; I want you to cry; I want you to share; I want you to know that no matter what we all go through there is always someone there to listen to you.

I will share about Perfectly Posh products and I will share about other products that make my life easier and fun. I will give my opinion on world events and even personal events. And trust me… its only my opinion and I am going to want to hear your side of things, too. Maybe I will even learn from you… because truly that is what is most important in life… to grow and evolve and learn from those around you.

This blog will have everything from health and beauty to business and relationships to food and sports. I am eclectic and well- rounded just like every other woman out there.  My tastes run from rap to classical and everything in between. I will read non-fiction to trashy romance #fiftyshadesfan and just about any format. I love to wear heels but I also love my sneakers. I love yoga and running but have no clue about Barre or Cross Fit even though I am sure I would love them, too. I love LLR leggings and a good pair of jeans but lately I’ve been wearing Adidas joggers and hoodies. I love to dress up in a beautiful dress and do my hair and makeup but I will always have a ball  cap in reach. I have a huge case of makeup and still go bare-faced most of the week.

I want to empower and uplift. I want to help others grow and feel loved. I want this blog to be a journey for all its readers. Most of all… I want to be me and share how powerful that can be.

It’s a start…

     Politics is a hot button issue. I studied political science in the 90’s and early 2000’s as a young adult focusing most of my work on Middle East affairs. At the time, domestic policies seemed boring. Yes, you can laugh. Now my thinking has changed a lot since the 90’s. 

      I registered to vote as a Republican every time I moved from the age of 18 including most recently two years ago when my husband and I bought our house. Within months of that last change I regretted it. I am pro-gun Safety laws and grew up in a household where guns were the norm. I even recall my dad being a member of the NRA. I am also pro-military; obviously if I wore the uniform myself that was a no-brainer. That’s not to say I want the military knocking down every other country that exists nor am I a big fan of nuclear weapons. I think that some social programs run by the government have needed to be tweaked and adjusted but not necessarily gotten rid of though. Just some common sense applied would probably save a lot of headaches and money. 

      Now on almost every other issue you can think of, I am one heck of a liberal minded, loud-mouthed woman! So yesterday, I decided that it was time to take a stand. My 14 year old daughter and I went to the Women’s March in Hartford, CT to join the thousands of others that are concerned for the future. We were one small part of a global picture that is just the starting point to keeping our Nation great.  

     The speakers were amazing and the signs people held up were creative and poignant. There were news cameras, journalists, bloggers, even drones trying to capture the event. But I don’t think you could capture the emotions unless you were in the middle of it. At times, my daughter and I would look at each other and blink back tears. We shouted with our fellow protesters that “Women’s Rights are Human Rights!” 

      It wasn’t a disrespect of who is the new President of the United States … it was a ‘Wake Up’ call that Women are not going to let this country go backwards. Yesterday was just the start of the movement. And while it is a Women’s movement it is more like a movement for all citizens that deserve equality, justice, and the pursuit of happiness.